Friendly Naked Time... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes Get Nekkid!

A Birthday Haiku for You:

Salt, boobs, and saunas

Pricey as fuck cab to Queens

Spa Castle kills it

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

In honor of our tenth year celebrating Casey Babe and her babelicious birthday, we took a trip down memory lane to where it all began. Sit down kiddies, and let grandma tell you the story of how Casey With Laser Eyes came to be...

It was ten years ago in a teacher's office in Seoul when Casey and Mindy met. The office was filled with try-hards and lazy-asses and more than a few whiney bitches. Being the only two cool-as-fuck normals in a sea of weird, it seemed only natural that Casey and Mindy would become best friends forever. And we'd like to report that it was friendship at first sight, but alas, much like good kimchi, Casey and Mindy's friendship needed time to marinate. 

But the recipe was there:

Pinch of humor. Dash of snark. Heavy dose of loyalty. Heaps and heaps of seemingly useless pop culture knowledge. And this here blog. Casey and Mindy had all the ingredients to a beautiful friendship, they just needed the magic gochujang to hold it all together.

Happiest of birthdays, babe! I'm so glad this shitty blog brought us together. Here's to ten more years of stupid haikus and crappy doctored photos. Love you with my whole heart.

*Editor's Note: For her birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes wants you to VOTE, MOTHERFUCKERS. VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

War Criminals... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes Between Two Bushes!

A Birthday Haiku for You:

Summer Vacation

Bush is a war criminal

Good photo op, though

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

You guys. This is the ninth year Casey with Laser Eyes has celebrated her birthday with half-assed doctored-up laser pics - and we couldn't be prouder. In a world where a second-rate D-list reality TV racist runs the show, it's nice to know that love and lasers still exist. This year our beautiful Casey babe turns 35 and it looks like it's gonna be a fucking fantastic one. Join me in wishing our girl her best year yet!

*Editor's Note: In our heart, Casey isn't a day past 26 (which means we're still 29).

Kentucky Kimchi... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes is Living Her Best Life!

A Birthday Haiku for You:

Kentucky mashup

Waffle House, Soju, Kpop

SoKo reunion!

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

This year our beloved Casey With Laser Eyes turns 34! Join me in wishing her the happiest, healthiest, wealthiest year yet. 2017 has been chock full of bad shit, so this year, let's make sure to hug Casey a little tighter, love Casey a little harder, and make sure she knows This Is Us is trash a little more often!

*Editor's Note: Thanks to Bitmoji, the app your mom loves, for really sprucing up this year's post

Camping Lasers... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes Slays Nature!

Today, due to extreme grad school fatigue, Casey With Laser Eyes is comin' 'atcha after hours. 

A Birthday Haiku for You:

Lasers in nature

Got me slayin' all the things
Damn, I need some wine

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

Casey With Laser Eyes spent a lot of time in nature this year. But bugs and sticks and cows and mountains can't keep her lasers under wraps. Slay, lasers, slay.

*Editor's Note: Shoutout to Snapchat, an app made for teenagers, but endlessly enjoyed by the olds.

Hungry Eyes... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes THROWBACK THURSDAY!

Today we're throwing it back - waaaaay back - to a simpler time when mics were big and bananas weren't dicks (thanks, emoji).

A Birthday Haiku for You:

It's my birthday, bitch

I'll sing whatever I want

I can't go for that!

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

Just like TV in the 80's, this birthday is a "Very Special Episode" of Casey With Laser Eyes. Our trusty pew pew-er just bought her very first house! Hopefully she'll keep her laser eyes in check - nobody wants those wily laserbeams slicing through drywall just yet!

Editor's Note: Bananas have always been dicks, AMIRIGHT?!

Feed Me, Seymour... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes ATTACKS New York!

A Birthday Haiku for You:

Two slices, you say?

Damn, Casey always wants MOAR!

Put that tongue back, Liz.

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

This was a big year for Casey With Laser Eyes - new job, new home, new car, new cat, new dog. PHEW. Seems our little Laser is all grown up. Brings a tear to my Photoshop-fearing eye. Here's to 31 - may it bring you all the dicks your heart desires! Love you, girl!

Editor's Note: I think the use of emoji really classes up the joint, don't you? Really gives it that 2014 vibe. 

Ermagerd, Nefertiti is Under Attack... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

Casey With Laser Eyes is BACK!

A Birthday Haiku for You:

It's been a big year

Fame, fortune, plenty of dicks

Eh, can't win 'em all.

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

This year our beloved Casey is the BIG 3-0. That's right kiddies, Casey With Laser Eyes has officially entered the "Excited to watch Antiques Roadshow, drinking boxed wine regularly, FUCK, is it 9:30 ALREADY?!" stage in life. You make 30 look good, girl! MUAH!

*Editor's Note: Because I am too thrifty for Photoshop, and apparently too lazy for MS Paint, this Casey With Laser Eyes post is brought to you by my phone. Hooray for Laser Apps!