11.05.2016

Camping Lasers... Pew Pew, Pew Pew




Casey With Laser Eyes Slays Nature!





Today, due to extreme grad school fatigue, Casey With Laser Eyes is comin' 'atcha after hours. 

A Birthday Haiku for You:


Lasers in nature
Got me slayin' all the things
Damn, I need some wine

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

Casey With Laser Eyes spent a lot of time in nature this year. But bugs and sticks and cows and mountains can't keep her lasers under wraps. Slay, lasers, slay.

*Editor's Note: Shoutout to Snapchat, an app made for teenagers, but endlessly enjoyed by the olds.

11.05.2015

Hungry Eyes... Pew Pew, Pew Pew




Casey With Laser Eyes THROWBACK THURSDAY!




Today we're throwing it back - waaaaay back - to a simpler time when mics were big and bananas weren't dicks (thanks, emoji).

A Birthday Haiku for You:


It's my birthday, bitch
I'll sing whatever I want
I can't go for that!


Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

Just like TV in the 80's, this birthday is a "Very Special Episode" of Casey With Laser Eyes. Our trusty pew pew-er just bought her very first house! Hopefully she'll keep her laser eyes in check - nobody wants those wily laserbeams slicing through drywall just yet!

Editor's Note: Bananas have always been dicks, AMIRIGHT?!



11.05.2014

Feed Me, Seymour... Pew Pew, Pew Pew



Casey With Laser Eyes ATTACKS New York!






A Birthday Haiku for You:

Two slices, you say?
Damn, Casey always wants MOAR!
Put that tongue back, Liz.

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

This was a big year for Casey With Laser Eyes - new job, new home, new car, new cat, new dog. PHEW. Seems our little Laser is all grown up. Brings a tear to my Photoshop-fearing eye. Here's to 31 - may it bring you all the dicks your heart desires! Love you, girl!

Editor's Note: I think the use of emoji really classes up the joint, don't you? Really gives it that 2014 vibe. 



11.05.2013

Ermagerd, Nefertiti is Under Attack... Pew Pew, Pew Pew


Casey With Laser Eyes is BACK!


A Birthday Haiku for You:

It's been a big year
Fame, fortune, plenty of dicks
Eh, can't win 'em all.

Happy happy birthday, Casey With Laser Eyes!

This year our beloved Casey is the BIG 3-0. That's right kiddies, Casey With Laser Eyes has officially entered the "Excited to watch Antiques Roadshow, drinking boxed wine regularly, FUCK, is it 9:30 ALREADY?!" stage in life. You make 30 look good, girl! MUAH!

*Editor's Note: Because I am too thrifty for Photoshop, and apparently too lazy for MS Paint, this Casey With Laser Eyes post is brought to you by my phone. Hooray for Laser Apps!

11.05.2012

Toddlers and Tiaras and Old Crotchety Ladies... Pew Pew, Pew Pew


A Birthday Haiku for You:

Toddlers, Tiaras
Big hair, binkies, and Jesus
Texas fucking rules!

This year, our beloved Casey with Laser Eyes turns 29. Join me in celebrating this, her final year of debauchery. For when next year comes, Casey with Laser Eyes will be officially old. Love you, girl!

11.05.2011

Casey VS. Texas, The Final Chapter... Pew Pew, Pew Pew

A birthday haiku for you:

Hot vampire* lasers
Shit, those can't wrangle Texas
Blood loss is a bitch

Happy Birthday Casey With Laser Eyes!

XOXOXO from the Casey With Laser Eyes, Pew Pew Team!**

*Fucking English. Vampire is both 2 AND 3 syllables, apparently?
**Stephanie has truly outdone herself this time. Mindy, as usual, waited until the last minute...

5.04.2011

Superkids... pew pew, pew pew


Justin Beiber!
Taco Bell Burritos!
Rhinestone Cowboy!
Superstars!
Naked Babies!
The only thing missing are some damn humping unicorns...